Preface

The world has changed. A useful handbook must change with it.

The houses in which I learned my profession have disappeared or found other uses. The families are scattered, and many of their customs deserve to remain where history has put them.

Some adjustments I have made willingly. The rigid formality of address that governed every interaction in my day was, I can now admit, occasionally absurd. A man should require neither three titles nor a letter of introduction merely to borrow the salt. The modern habit of using first names still produces in me a faint and involuntary wince, but people speak to one another more easily now. The gain is real, however untidy.

Dress no longer declares a man's income or station as reliably as it once did. This is mostly an improvement. Clothes should still be clean, fit well, and suit the occasion. Little else requires a rule.

Courtesy between the sexes has also changed for good reason. A gentleman should attend to what the person before him needs. A rehearsed gesture is of little value when it causes discomfort.

Telephones have made attention more difficult. A man who checks one throughout a meal has left the table in all but body.

Silence has also become scarce. Rooms, journeys, and pauses are filled with noise, often without anyone deciding that noise is wanted.

Handwriting matters less than it did. Punctuality and decent posture still matter.

A man still needs to care for himself, manage a home and his money, and behave considerately among other people. The methods change. The duties remain ordinary.

The pages that follow retain old standards where they remain useful and discard them where they do not.

Crale