Crale's Guide to the Modern Gentleman

Displaced in time. Unimpressed by the journey.

Crale's Guide
to the Modern Gentleman

Displaced in time. Unimpressed by the journey.

A reference for the modern gentleman,compiled without enthusiasm, published without apology, and offered in the hope that it may prevent at least some of the more egregious lapses this era has made its peace with.

With a Foreword by Sir Edward Astley-Pemberton, Bt., KCVO

Sins of the Modern Gentleman

Author's Preface · The Library · About

Contents

Grooming

  1. Shaving for Your Skin Type Your face is not a uniform surface, and treating it as one is why you bleed.
  2. Showering Properly A shower is not a meditation, a concert venue, or a place to stand and reconsider your life.
  3. Cologne and Deodorant: How Much Is Too Much Fragrance should be discovered, not announced.
  4. Bad Breath: How to Know and Fix It No one will tell you. That is both the courtesy and the problem.
  5. Face Washing Basics Your face requires washing twice a day, with a product designed for the purpose.
  6. Nail and Teeth Basics A man's hands and his smile are noticed before he has said a word.
  7. How to Tie a Tie A tie is not a noose, though the way some men wear them suggests they believe otherwise.
  8. Posture and Physical Carriage A man who slouches communicates defeat before he has said a word.
  9. Beard Care I confess that my own preference has always been for the clean-shaven face, but I am not so foolish as to mistake a preference for a principle.

Bathroom

  1. Public Bathroom Emergencies There will come a moment, in a place not of your choosing, when the matter becomes urgent.

Home

  1. Ironing a Shirt A wrinkled shirt tells people you got dressed in the dark and hoped no one would notice.
  2. Cleaning and Maintaining Leather Shoes Leather is skin. Treat it as you would your own, which is to say with regular attention and the occasional application of something nourishing.
  3. Getting Rid of Clothes That No Longer Fit A wardrobe full of clothes that do not fit is not a wardrobe. It is a museum of former intentions.
  4. Basics of Decor for a Bachelor Apartment Your home does not need to impress. It needs to suggest that an adult lives there.
  5. Cleaning a Bathroom: Minimum Standards If a guest would hesitate before touching the taps, your bathroom is not clean.

Social

  1. Being a Gentleman Without Offending Anyone The modern gentleman's difficulty is not knowing what to do; it is knowing what will be misread.
  2. Sitting Quietly When Bored Boredom is not a condition that requires treatment. It is a state to be endured with grace.
  3. De-escalating a Situation The man who wins a confrontation without raising his voice has won twice.
  4. When Someone Is Condescending to You Condescension is an insult dressed in the clothes of helpfulness.
  5. On Reading I am informed that there is now a reading community, which is a phrase so dispiriting that I required several minutes and a strong cup of tea before I could bring myself to continue.
  6. Making Decisions When You Have No Preference "I don't mind" is not a decision. It is an abdication that someone else must now clean up.
  7. The Art of Listening Most people do not listen; they merely wait for a gap into which they can insert what they had already planned to say.
  8. On Correspondence The letter is dead. The email is dying. What remains is the text message, which is to correspondence what a grunt is to conversation.
  9. Eye Contact and the Projection of Confidence The eyes do more work in a conversation than the mouth, and most men have never been taught to use them.
  10. At Table You do not need to know which fork is for fish. You need to know how to sit at a table and not embarrass yourself, which is a lower bar than it sounds and one that a remarkable number of men fail to clear.

Health

  1. Why Minor Irritations Are Worth Addressing That thing you have been ignoring for three months will not resolve itself. It is waiting.
  2. How to Make a Doctor's Appointment The telephone is right there. It has been right there for months. Pick it up.
  3. Keeping a Journal Without Getting Overwhelmed A journal is not a literary project. It is a place to put things down so you are not carrying them.
  4. The Constitutional Walk The Edwardian gentleman walked daily, purposefully, outdoors, and in all weather, and he did not consider this remarkable because it was not.
  5. On Self-Defence The best defence is, and has always been, the capacity to recognise a situation before it becomes one.

Money

  1. Keeping a Sensible Budget A budget is not a punishment. It is a map of where your money goes, drawn by someone who has decided to look.