On Self-Defence

Self-defence begins with recognising a dangerous situation while there is still time to avoid it.

Your era discusses self-defence as though it were primarily physical. It is usually not. Most violent encounters are preceded by a period in which they could have been avoided. The man who walks away has not demonstrated weakness. He has demonstrated intelligence, which may spare him pain, expense, and a conversation with the police. In my time, as in yours, much male violence involved drink, pride, and the failure to leave. A man who cannot govern his temper is not fit to govern anything else.

Leave when departure is possible, whether the provocation is an insult, a challenge, or a shove which has not yet trapped you. The satisfaction of standing one’s ground is brief beside the consequences of injury or arrest, and pride generally recovers more readily than teeth.

There are situations, rare but real, in which walking away has become difficult or another person is in danger. Preparation then means knowing the exits, calling for help, drawing attention, and using only the force required to create a safe opportunity to leave. The law governing force differs by jurisdiction and is a poor subject for confident recollection during an arrest.

The Edwardian gentleman was usually better prepared for physical confrontation than the modern one. Boxing was taught in schools and practised in clubs, and a man who could not put up his hands had a gap in his education, like an inability to ride or swim. These skills were not cultivated because violence was desired; they were held in reserve, governed by judgement.

Boxing, judo, wrestling, and other well-taught disciplines can improve balance, movement, and composure under pressure. Their usefulness depends upon the instructor, the student, and continued practice. No discipline prepares a person reliably for weapons, several attackers, or every physical difference.

Choose a reputable school which practises safely, permits beginners to leave with their joints intact, and does not sell fantasies about invulnerability. Training should improve judgement as well as technique. Domestic violence and coercive control require specialist support and a safety plan; they are not sparring problems to be solved by greater confidence.

These skills require maintenance. Self-defence classes attract men who attend intensely for six weeks and then depart with a confidence which their ability no longer supports. The body forgets, and a half-remembered technique attempted under stress may be worse than simple caution; train consistently if you intend to rely upon the training.

If violence occurs, protect the head, create distance, call for help, and leave as soon as a safe route appears. Weapons and several attackers make escape still more important. The idea of winning a street fight seldom survives its medical and legal consequences.